The best way to prepare kids for photos is to make the session feel like a normal outing: tell them what will happen, book it at their best time of day, feed them beforehand, and dress them in clothes they're comfortable in. Then let the photographer handle the smiles. Here is a practical plan for the week before, the morning of, and the session itself.
A week before: talk about it
Children cooperate better with things they understand. A surprise trip to a studio full of strangers is a lot for a four-year-old. A trip they've heard about all week is an adventure.
Keep it simple and positive:
- Say what will happen. "We're going to a studio where a photographer takes pictures. There's a set that looks like snow, and we'll play some games."
- Show them the set. If the photographer's profile has pictures of the set you've chosen, show them. Kids love knowing what they'll see.
- Make them the helper. Ask them to pick a toy to bring, or to choose between two outfits you've already approved.
- Skip the pressure. Avoid "you have to smile nicely" or "please behave for the photos." It turns the session into a test.
For older kids, tell them how long it is. "About an hour, with a break" is much easier to accept than an open-ended afternoon.
The day before: sleep and outfits
Sleep is the biggest single factor in how a session goes with young children. If you can, protect the night before and the nap on the day.
- Book around naps. For babies and toddlers, the best time is usually after a nap, not right before one. You know your child's rhythm, so pick the window when they're usually happiest.
- Get clothes ready. Iron, lay out, pack a backup. Our family photo outfit guide covers colors and fabrics.
- Test the outfit. If it's new, have them wear it for an hour at home. Itchy tags and tight shoes show up in faces.
- Haircuts a week ahead. Not the day before. Fresh haircuts can look harsh, and a week gives them time to settle.
The morning of: food and travel
A hungry child is not a cooperative child, and neither is one who just had a big sugary treat.
- Feed them a real meal before you leave, something with protein, so energy lasts.
- Pack easy snacks. Choose ones that don't stain: crackers, apple slices, cheese sticks. Skip chocolate, red juice and anything blue.
- Bring water in a cup with a lid.
- Travel in comfy clothes and change right before the session, so outfits stay clean.
- Leave extra time. Rushing out the door stresses everyone, and kids pick up on it instantly. Your photographer will send the meeting place after you book, so you can plan the trip in advance.
About bribes
Bribes aren't evil. A promised treat after the session can help, especially for older kids. The problem is when the whole session runs on bribes.
When every smile is traded for a gummy bear, two things happen: the smiles look forced, and the child learns to negotiate. By minute twenty, the price has gone up.
What works better:
- A reward after, not during. "When we're done, we'll go get pancakes." Mention it once, then drop it.
- Praise for effort, not for smiling. "You did such a good job jumping" goes further than "smile for the camera."
- Let the photographer do the work. Getting real expressions is their job, not yours.
The games photographers play
A good children's photographer rarely asks kids to smile. They ask them to do things, and the smiles follow.
Some favorites:
- The whisper game. "Whisper something silly in Mommy's ear." The reaction is always real.
- Don't laugh. Kids are told they're absolutely not allowed to laugh. It works almost every time.
- Where's my nose. The photographer puts a toy on their head or "loses" their nose. Toddlers love correcting adults.
- Squeeze races. "Who can give the biggest squeeze to their brother?" Instant hugging photo.
- Jump on three. Great for warming up shy kids and burning off energy at the start.
If a photographer works with a second shooter, one can play while the other photographs, which catches the giggle after the game, not just the posed frame before it. There's more on this approach in toddler photoshoot tips.
The parents' role during the session
Parents often feel they need to manage every second. You don't. In fact, the less you direct, the better kids usually do.
What helps most:
- Be in the photos, not behind the camera. Kids look toward the person who's talking to them. If you're standing behind the camera saying "look here," they'll look at you, not the lens, and often with a slightly worried face.
- Stay relaxed if things go sideways. A meltdown is normal. Take a break, have a snack, and try again. Many of the best frames happen after a reset.
- Let small things go. A messy curl or a crooked collar is part of who they are at this age.
- Tell the photographer beforehand about anything that helps. A favorite song, a fear of loud noises, a shy phase. It helps them plan.
If your child is very shy or one parent dreads being photographed, read camera-shy family photos. Teenagers have their own rules: see holiday photos with teenagers.
Quick answers
What if my child refuses to cooperate?
It happens, and it's okay. A good photographer slows down, plays, takes a break, and often gets great photos in the second half of the session. Pressure usually makes it worse.
How long can young kids last in a session?
Most toddlers do well for 20 to 30 minutes at a time. A 60-minute family session with breaks built in suits them, and a short mini session suits very young children. Check the length on each profile.
Should I tell my kids to say cheese?
No. "Cheese" smiles look stiff. Let the photographer use games and prompts instead, and you'll get real expressions.
Find your photographer
Choose a time that fits your kids' best part of the day, then browse family photographers in New York City and Long Island. Or see what happens at a studio session minute by minute.